Friday, July 29, 2011

Five Guys Burgers - If you're not in love with it, then you're ordering it wrong.

If your burger doesn't look like this, you're doing it wrong.
Are you ordering your Five Guy's burgers wrong? You might just be.

GREENSBORO - My first review of Five Guy's came just as they arrived in Greensboro back in the Fall of 2009. My parents had brought home to me a typical, lettuce-tomato-and-pickle topped cheeseburger that I described as a "Gourmet burger, served in a fast-food setting, sans the drive-thru." I was under-impressed. It was okay, it may have been good, but it wasn't special. What was the President clamoring about? The truth was, I was doing it wrong. I've heard numerous patrons of Five Guy's since then echo my same previous sentiment. That's when I stop and inform them I've discovered the secret to Five Guy's. I can honestly say this is probably one of the darn, finest burger in all the country. See, the secret I found to ordering Five Guy's isn't to order a "normal" sandwich, but to go all-out, with tons of toppings, unusual toppings, like mushrooms, jalapenos, A-1 and BBQ sauce. The beauty of it is they charge one price for their sandwiches, ($6.59 for a bacon cheeseburger) and you can add as many toppings as you like. Combinations of flavors, and sandwiches a mile-high. That's what makes this place awesome. Don't go in and order your normal cheeseburger expectations, no, oh no- if you're under five toppings you're doing it wrong.
Fresh Cut Fries in the bag too. Awesome. 

But let's say you're too embarrassed to go to the counter and order a Five Guy's Bacon Cheeseburger all-the-way, with mayo, ketchup, mustard, onion, jalapenos, pickles, tomatoes, grilled onions, mushrooms, and extra cheese, like I do. Then do like Liv: I just whip out my Android smart phone, (or order from a lap-top,) tap a few buttons and custom build the perfect burger. You could also call in a creepy voice and pretend to be someone else, if it makes you feel better, but I use the app. I add a fry, a drink, then pay with my credit card as I'm walking in all from my phone. I walk up to the counter, give them my name, and walk right past the embarrassment and the queue to pick up my bag of heavenly hamburgers and grease. What's better, is next time I arrive my order is saved, and I only have to click on the reorder button if I choose the same weapon of taste bud destruction. No I'm not being paid by 5 Guy's, I'm just a fan of their app. It's probably the best in the food industry, and it is a Godsend to order the kids food without having them holding up the line, staring off into space, when I ask "Do you want both onions and grilled onions on your burger?"

Ren loves the wobble tables. Why do they wobble?
I can only assume some of you are disgusted by the idea of these supreme burgers, these extravaganzas of toppings and condiments. You're probably the same type of person who likes their pizza with peperoni and cheese only or hearts  (gasp) bologna. If you're picky, then this place is most definitely not for you. On the other hand, if you've just been doing it wrong this whole time, try it my way and then go outside on the patio of Five Guy's; sit, and eat cafe style feeding the little birds of Friendly Center with some Idaho french fries while you enjoy the best burger in Greensboro. Hands down.





    Five Guys Greensboro
    Friendly Center
    3124 Kathleen Avenue
    Greensboro, NC 27408

    Tel: 336-856-2201
    Fax: 336-856-2202

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