I knew this morning was going to be a toughy. I some how had to manage to fall asleep without taking any vicodin for the pain, so I could wake up sober a capable of operating a motor vehicle at 5:00am and stand in line with 45 other individual so I might be able to have a tooth extracted.
I mentioned it yesterday, but it's worth repeating; because every minute of the day I kept thinking about how Americans keep telling themselves they don't want to be like those socialist Europeans and be on waiting lists for health care.
I thought this would make an excellent post, not so much as it's any different then anything I've written before... but because I'm experiencing it... and because, frankly it's very important to me. I was smart enough to take the digital camera for the fun of it. I was stupid enough to realize it was dark when I left, and even when I got there it was still pitch black.
First let me say, if you need a cheap dentist and live in Greensboro... this is pretty damn nice option. It's cheap, it's clean and it's in an area of town which won't require you to carry the stun gun or mace.
I woke up a 5AM, stumbled to the shower, got ready... and was in the car by ten of 6. Stuck my key in the ignition and fired the six sleeping cylinders of my Ford. Pulled out of the driveway, and drove to the freeway with nobody, absolutely nobody on the road. 30 Minutes later I exited the west side of the bypass, got off on Sandy Ridge road and saw for the first time the dental office & a huge 1-800-Denture sign. The parking lot was packed with cars.
For a moment I wanted to say "screw it" and find another option, but I convinced myself... just to get it done. So how the whole process works is you show up at 6:30 and if you're one of the lucky first 45 people in line, then you get to have someone rip teeth out of your skull and charge you for it. I was fortunate to be number 20 in a line of mostly senior citizens which snaked around the waiting room and out into the parking lot. I grabbed a magazine and waited about 25 minutes to get the first timer clip board to fill out. Memories of riding the tube came to mind: cramped, lots of reading, lack of eye contact, and keep to yourself. I was the only one fortunate enough to figure this out. Technically I think I might have been the only one with vision left, as most stared off into space or watched the television playing WFMY. So I filled out the clip board, finished reading the magazine, broke out the cell phone and played Tetris another hour or so. About 8:30 they call me back. I take my ear-rings out, as instructed, and am given a lead vest which doesn't fit. My head is squeezed in a X-Ray machine and it begins rotating around my head. It then rams into my head, begins making funny "Wall-E" sounds, then beeps and goes the other way before slamming into the other side of my head. It's at this point I'm advised to go back to the waiting room for my Polaroid to develop. Another 30 minutes or so go by and I'm called back again. This time they put the oral spit bib on and sit me down in the "chair of doom". 10 minutes pass and the Dentist arrives, looks in my throat and says there's nothing he can do here, "You'll need an oral surgeon." Another 10 minutes and I have a referral letter, a prescription for more vicodin and more Amoxicillin, and I'm standing in queue to pay $100.00. That's $25.00 for the visit, and $75.00 for the x-ray if you're keeping score.
It's about 9:30am when I make it back to my car now a $100.00 poorer but with a gorgeous photo of my teeth. I get home and call the oral surgeon's receptionist. I cringe in an expectation for an estimate. $75 for the consult, $350 for 30 minutes of anaesthesia, and $540.00 per tooth... all which isn't covered under my HMO. Oh and did I mention the Dentist states I'll need more than 1 removed. Apparently Wisdom teeth grow in families.
I'm better off then a lot of people out there, so I've got to wonder... how do people afford this stuff? This is America? This is health-care? This is a joke, is what it is!
I remember this time last year when we were preparing for our trip to London, one piece of travel information was "medical emergencies" and that if a dental emergency arose abroad, it could be cared for, for free; if you could get to a NHS dentist. Knowing what I know of NHS that's easier said then done.... but at least the idea seems sound in concept. I suppose if it worked well, a lot of people would be flying there just to have their teeth fixed. The idea has crossed my head.
So I'm tired, still infected, poorer then I was 12 hours ago, and ready to scream. I think it's time to resort to vice-grips and vodka... If only there was a waiting list I could be on instead.
