Considering I don't have a real job, no boss to answer to, and absolutely no responsibilities outside of showing up at school, and caring for the kids. I decided to order a box of Splat hair coloring from Amazon based on the online reviews. When you ask around on who makes the best pink hair coloring... you consistently get referred to Splat. Uneffingfortunately for moi, I couldn't find it locally, (though I'm sure someone sells it,) so I ordered it and waited. Since Shannon is way to conservative of a good-girl, I decided to change that by ordering her a box called "Communist Red".... no really, it's actually called "Seductive, You can't screw me because I'm a hot-bad-ass who is nothing but a tease." In fact all of Splat's colors are designed to turn any woman (or girl) into a seductive living version of Barbie. Atleast that's what I get from their commercials:
Of course back here in reality, most of us are just going to look like freaks and my color should say "Aren't you too old to be dying your hair pink?"
The truth is, you have to be a bit of a non-conformist, a wild-child, (or wanting to be perceived as one) to even consider Splatting your hair. It's a leap of faith.... after-all... it's permanent. Permanent on your hair, your skin, your tub, your bathroom floor... I'm guessing you might have a few questions before you consider shelling out $12 a box... like, Does Splat work? Yes. Is Splat bright? Yes. (Where do I buy Splat?) Proof is in my hair:
The process was pretty straight-forward for me since my hair was blonde. Just add the dye and wait for 30 minutes. Shannon being blessed with dark-brown hair from her ancestors stealing hub-caps in the Mexican dessert- required an hour of bleaching (bleach is included with the kit, which if not used is useful as an artful project with your pet) followed by a wash and dry then application of dye:
There's a few things to consider in this process. A), even with Vaseline around your forehead and ears, (I've completely lost the guys at this point) your scalp will be dyed pink (red, green or blue) for days. Start it at the beginning of a non-social weekend. Secondly... your shower apparently will never run clear (or at least it hasn't yet for me after 3 showers), so you take pink showers for awhile. Nothing makes you feel more feminine than pink showers. It's equally impressive to wear all-white and go out in the rain. Lastly be prepared for everyone you know to say "OMG" on FaceBook, life, and (I'm expecting) at school.
So if blondes have more fun, what do pink-heads do? (Don't answer that.) Bottom line, I'm waiting for my chance to go to my country-bumpkin neighborhood grocery store and watch the men in overalls carrying a Bible to gasp in horror as they clutch their wives crosses around their necks. Yes... I'm not like you, any of you, and now (if you didn't already know), I'm am nothing like you... and that's okay.