Living with uncertainty

by **SouthernFriedInfidel** » Mon Jan 05, 2009 12:51 pm

We all live with an uncertain view of what life has in store for us. No one knows when an illness will pop up in themselves or a loved one and change your daily life -- for a few days or a lifetime. Accidents happen. Things fall apart. We deal with them when they come up, and work to get back to "normal" as soon as we can manage.

But most of the time, we don't think much about the possibility for a disruption in life. I think this is one aspect of human nature that really allows us to enjoy life. I think this, because over the past month, I have noticed that I really, REALLY didn't much enjoy the holiday season. Certainly not as much as I usually do. And a big part of that, I think, has been my growing concern over the fear of disruption in life. I keep wondering how much longer my company will keep me in a job I'm not doing well. That single thought -- that I might be put into the cold after over 20 years of work -- is ruining most of the "good times" I might usually have.

And of course, the obvious answer should be: do your job better, so that the company won't have a reason to fire you. Goodness knows, I keep trying. I had a career change 3 years ago to programming in Java... which failed. I was then more or less forced to try a "new direction" -- and that is failing, it seems to me. I'm getting very down these days, and that seems to be contributing to the uncertainty of life. Just one truly bad feedback loop.

It just seems to me that the ability to avoid dwelling on the potential for bad events in out lives is a big part of our means for happiness. So stop thinking about the future so much, and be happy.

by **Sanjuro** » Mon Jan 05, 2009 1:07 pm

But most of the time, we don't think much about the possibility for a disruption in life. I think this is one aspect of human nature that really allows us to enjoy life. I think this, because over the past month, I have noticed that I really, REALLY didn't much enjoy the holiday season. Certainly not as much as I usually do. And a big part of that, I think, has been my growing concern over the fear of disruption in life. I keep wondering how much longer my company will keep me in a job I'm not doing well. That single thought -- that I might be put into the cold after over 20 years of work -- is ruining most of the "good times" I might usually have.

I only wish this were true for me. I spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about the disruption of life.

by **[email protected]** » Mon Jan 05, 2009 2:28 pm

Thank you for those words of wisdom
Jennifer

by **BecauseHeLives** » Mon Jan 05, 2009 3:40 pm

SFI... I know it doesn't mean much to you but I have prayed about your situation. I'm sure that your wife (and others who you've probably never met) has as well. Yeah, I know I screw up on here a lot and it sometimes appears that I don't really care what happens with the "regulars" here. That couldn't be further from the truth. I KNOW I have many shortcomings and I lose my good witness many times but I certainly don't have ill will toward any of you. And I identify a lot with you SFI in many different ways. In some respects we are a lot alike (except I'm better looking) j/k. Whatever situation you are in I know that it could have easily been me or anyone else in these forums.

I'm not really sure what to say right now that will encourage you but I do want to encourage you in some way. Neither one of us is all bad ya know.

by **A Person** » Mon Jan 05, 2009 4:54 pm

If it's any consolation, I have twice lost jobs through acquisitions or restructuring. In both cases it was very stressful but turned out for the better. You are more prepared to take risks since you have nothing to lose and the upside is better than it appears. In one case I left a company I had worked at for 16 years, that was friendly, comfortable and safe, I had 18 months in a job I didn't like, but paid better and I learned a hell of a lot. Then an excellent job turned up that I wouldn't have got without that experience. The last time it happened I started my own consulting business and it's turned out very well. In an uncertain economic climate, contractors tend to look for salaried jobs, but very often employers are looking for more contract staff to displace salaried workers.

Anyway, these days, every job is a contract, the days of a lifelong career with one employer have long gone, run with it.

by **RebelSnake** » Mon Jan 05, 2009 5:32 pm

SouthernFriedInfidel wrote:We all live with an uncertain view of what life has in store for us. No one knows when an illness will pop up in themselves or a loved one and change your daily life -- for a few days or a lifetime. Accidents happen. Things fall apart. We deal with them when they come up, and work to get back to "normal" as soon as we can manage.

But most of the time, we don't think much about the possibility for a disruption in life. I think this is one aspect of human nature that really allows us to enjoy life. I think this, because over the past month, I have noticed that I really, REALLY didn't much enjoy the holiday season. Certainly not as much as I usually do. And a big part of that, I think, has been my growing concern over the fear of disruption in life. I keep wondering how much longer my company will keep me in a job I'm not doing well. That single thought -- that I might be put into the cold after over 20 years of work -- is ruining most of the "good times" I might usually have.

And of course, the obvious answer should be: do your job better, so that the company won't have a reason to fire you. Goodness knows, I keep trying. I had a career change 3 years ago to programming in Java... which failed. I was then more or less forced to try a "new direction" -- and that is failing, it seems to me. I'm getting very down these days, and that seems to be contributing to the uncertainty of life. Just one truly bad feedback loop.

It just seems to me that the ability to avoid dwelling on the potential for bad events in out lives is a big part of our means for happiness. So stop thinking about the future so much, and be happy.

Uncertain view?? Tell me about it. I've been sitting here going nuts doing nothing and I desperately need something to get me out of this damn house. I'm having to reset some appointments to see what kind of help I can get to help with my situation but that's going to take time and in the meantime I'm still sitting here. SFI, you'll be fine. You have a solid background and you're one of the smartest people I know. I know you'll be fine, just adjust your attitude a little bit. Just remember, Life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% how you choose to react to it. I have confidence you'll bounce back just fine.

by **SouthernFriedInfidel** » Mon Jan 05, 2009 5:43 pm

RebelSnake wrote:Uncertain view?? Tell me about it. I've been sitting here going nuts doing nothing and I desperately need something to get me out of this damn house. I'm having to reset some appointments to see what kind of help I can get to help with my situation but that's going to take time and in the meantime I'm still sitting here. SFI, you'll be fine. You have a solid background and you're one of the smartest people I know. I know you'll be fine, just adjust your attitude a little bit. Just remember, Life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% how you choose to react to it. I have confidence you'll bounce back just fine.

It's good to hear from you again, RS. I hope things will come around for you very soon. :dance:

by **Liv** » Fri Jan 20, 2012 1:59 pm

I think uncertainty is why we have drugs and alcohol.