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Jesus too Liberal? - Just rewrite the Bible

Or Allah for that matter?

Postby A Person » Wed Oct 07, 2009 9:26 pm

The accuracy of Bible translations comes up periodically. Most fundamentalists prefer the King James translation since being a few centuries behind the times it reflects their world view quite well.

Unfortunately even the King James version is a bit, well, liberal. It mentions 'comrades' and Jesus is a bit too friendly with adulteresses. Almost communist in fact. So what's a good Conservative Fundamentalist to do?

Why do his own translation of course!
Making sure that damn liberal bias that reality has, does not get in the way of what they are sure God really meant to say.

1.Framework against Liberal Bias: providing a strong framework that enables a thought-for-thought translation without corruption by liberal bias
2.Not Emasculated: avoiding unisex, "gender inclusive" language, and other modern emasculation of Christianity
3.Not Dumbed Down: not dumbing down the reading level, or diluting the intellectual force and logic of Christianity; the NIV is written at only the 7th grade level[3]
4.Utilize Powerful Conservative Terms: using powerful new conservative terms as they develop;[4] defective translations use the word "comrade" three times as often as "volunteer"; similarly, updating words which have a change in meaning, such as "word", "peace", and "miracle".
5.Combat Harmful Addiction: combating addiction by using modern terms for it, such as "gamble" rather than "cast lots";[5] using modern political terms, such as "register" rather than "enroll" for the census
6.Accept the Logic of Hell: applying logic with its full force and effect, as in not denying or downplaying the very real existence of Hell or the Devil.
7.Express Free Market Parables; explaining the numerous economic parables with their full free-market meaning
8.Exclude Later-Inserted Liberal Passages: excluding the later-inserted liberal passages that are not authentic, such as the adulteress story
9.Credit Open-Mindedness of Disciples: crediting open-mindedness, often found in youngsters like the eyewitnesses Mark and John, the authors of two of the Gospels
10.Prefer Conciseness over Liberal Wordiness: preferring conciseness to the liberal style of high word-to-substance ratio; avoid compound negatives and unnecessary ambiguities; prefer concise, consistent use of the word "Lord" rather than "Jehovah" or "Yahweh" or "Lord God."


This effort is promoted by Conservapedia, but please don't volunteer to help if you are 'professors or higher-educated participants' because then you must be expected to be liberal and feminist in outlook, which just won't do.

Only lower educated conservatives who can be properly trusted to eradicate that 'love thy neighbour' namby pamby socialism should apply. Fortunately there's no shortage of that demographic.
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Postby Liv » Wed Oct 07, 2009 10:38 pm

The King would be disappointed,
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Postby SouthernFriedInfidel » Thu Oct 08, 2009 1:05 am

I heard about this the other day from Sanjuro. I but the Conservative Bible will be a BIG seller in Farright Town.
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Postby Liv » Thu Oct 08, 2009 1:33 am

Guess they weren't too fond of Jefferson's version?
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Postby eddiebuckle » Thu Oct 08, 2009 3:48 am

Priceless....

Exclude Later-Inserted Liberal Passages - you know, like the new testament.

Apparently this guy is a teacher in NJ - he's home schooled over 170 teenagers. Would love to be a fly on the wall during his science classes.

http://rationalwiki.com/wiki/Andrew_Schlafly
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Postby Liv » Thu Oct 08, 2009 9:18 am

Maybe they should start an official Wikipedia Bible... where anyone can edit it.
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Postby SouthernFriedInfidel » Thu Oct 08, 2009 2:22 pm

A Lutheran minister who is a great friend to my family heard of this. He said that now that these Farright Town people finally realize that the Bible -- most particularly Jesus' words in it -- doesn't support their views, they're going to spin it to fit them.

I had to point out that this is what pretty much everyone does anyway. :think:
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Postby A Person » Thu Oct 08, 2009 2:29 pm

eddiebuckle wrote:Priceless....

Exclude Later-Inserted Liberal Passages - you know, like the new testament.

Apparently this guy is a teacher in NJ - he's home schooled over 170 teenagers. Would love to be a fly on the wall during his science classes.

http://rationalwiki.com/wiki/Andrew_Schlafly

Schafly (the Son of Phyllis) has a long history of anti-science. His letters over the Lenski case (the e-coli bacteria evolving the ability to metabolize citrate through two mutations) is classic.

There is a certain frisson of humour there, but the relentless tard and the fact that he's serious and representative of a significant portion of Americans wears me down fairly quickly.

The site is overloaded now given the exposure he got from Colbert last night.
Special message to the Colbert show watchers: do yourselves a favor and watch less television. Colbert and his advertisers want to make money off you, but you can accomplish some good instead by unplugging the TV. You could even pick up a Bible.
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Postby Nfidel » Fri Oct 09, 2009 3:46 am

Jesus too Liberal? - Just rewrite the Bible


And if the country is too liberal? Rewrite history

FF.jpg
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Postby Sanjuro » Fri Oct 09, 2009 12:53 pm

Nfidel wrote:
Jesus too Liberal? - Just rewrite the Bible


And if the country is too liberal? Rewrite history

FF.jpg



OK:

Image

Honestly, thats a more accurate depiction of what is going on in most Christians minds.
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Postby bigrebnc1861 » Mon Jun 07, 2010 12:08 am

I love it when people discuss a subject as if they know what they are talking about when in fact they know absolutly nothing on the subject.
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Postby A Person » Fri Nov 12, 2010 4:39 pm

ConservativeBible.jpg
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