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[/floatr]About 5 minutes ago I was in the kitchen making pancakes for the kids. Yesterday Chance purchased some of those fake handcuffs at Dollar General (The Redneck Superstore) and they've been playing "Redneck with a dewey (DUI)" ever since. Suddenly I had a flash back to my child-hood and this religious group which came to school. (Yes school.) Suddenly I'm like a Vietnam war veteran with flashbacks, and I begin seizing at the oven. The kids freak out: "Are you okay mommy?" I pause suddenly... turn to them and with a clarity of the events like they were today I turn to them, bug out my eyes, and scream "Do you want to feel the power of Jesus?" They then ran off scared. See the handcuffs made me think of when
The Power Team came to town. (Sort of like the circus but these clowns are funnier.) The Power Team was a religious group of washed up body builders, amateur wrestlers, and ex-football player types who traveled the country spreading Jesus to children every where. (Like the Santas of protein power drinks.) I remember sitting in the bleachers at Wayne Elementary School watching a balding, bundle of mutated biceps spend 10 minutes overly-dramatically trying to break a pair of handcuffs... through the power of Jesus. He'd try, his little buddies would start praying... and then SNAP! Apparently the whole thing stuck with me because today I thought... I could pull that stunt on my kids, but uh... they'd know they were fake handcuffs, and then cry when I broke their toy... or I'd get stuck in a pair of play-school handcuffs for 8 hours and have to explain it all to Shan when she got home.
So when I got done with breakfast I suddenly wondered if Google would tell me if the Power Team (say it in a deep voice) still exists.... and the answer...
yes, yes they do. They've improved their stage presence with smoke and lights, but the steroid pumped, (they claim to be 100% steroid free... uh sure) small testicle men of Jesus's armada are out there waging war on heathens like me as I type.
THE POWER TEAM is a group of world class athletes who have performed the worlds greatest exhibitions of power, strength, speed, inspiration, and motivation in every state and in over 40 countries for over 30 years. These giant men, many weighing over 300 pounds, can blow up hot water bottles like balloons, snap baseball bats like twigs, lift telephone poles overhead, rip phone books and license plates like pieces of paper, and smash walls of ice and concrete.
The beauty of all this is through the magic of the internet I can relive my child-hood....
Though I'm not too sure what to make out of it other than to scream "Go Jesus and Steroids".
Nope still not working.
