Santa is Jesus?

So say your Jesus right? You did the whole, create a religion thing, then the whole Resurrection hoo haa haa; and then, the Messiah protection program relocates you to the great white north. You put on a few pounds, and your beard grows a little white as you realize you've never planned for your retirement. Then one day you have an idea. Let's create Christmas and make some money. Sure... just name the sheep something like, Oh say Rudolph, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, and a few others. Tie them up to your old field wagon, and the rest is history.

Jesusanta realized early on that Pole Dancer Elmo would do a lot better then weeping Mary. Of course this led to a few changes in the new version of Christianity.