·  News ·  Travel ·  Food ·  Arts ·  Science ·  Sports ·  Advice ·  Religion ·  Life ·  Greensboro · 

More on the Eucharist scandal

by Nfidel | Published on July 8th, 2008, 11:58 am | Religion
'Body Of Christ' Snatched From Church, Held Hostage By UCF Student

We all know that blasphemy is a victimless crime.
 
 
Holy crackers!

"Regardless of the reason, the Diocese says its main concern is to get the Eucharist back so it can be taken care of properly and with respect. Cook has been keeping the Eucharist stored in a plastic bag since last Sunday."

IT'S A CRACKER! Get over it.
July 8th, 2008, 12:10 pm
User avatar
SouthernFriedInfidel
 
Location: 5th circle of hell -- actually not very crowded at the moment.
Yes, it's far more respectful to eat Christ's body and defaecate it into the toilet.

One would think that the body of Christ would be able to take some action on its own behalf. I would be impressed if the Eucharist got up and trotted down the road to the Church. We'll have to see if God chooses to punish the student individually or the whole state with a hurricane. I wonder if the student obtained and returned an unblessed wafer, would the Church be able to identify any differences between it and the Eucharist?
All stupid ideas pass through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is ridiculed. Third, it is ridiculed
July 8th, 2008, 12:12 pm
User avatar
A Person
 
Location: Slightly west of the Great White North
Seriously, I myself try to show some respect for my religious friends when I attend a service, and I don't participate in their rituals. This guy obviously felt differently. I never would have guessed that the Catholics would get this upset over what really is just a prop for a ritual. I mean, I've always known that they believe that the cracker is magically changed into human meat... but even the most fundamentalist zealot has to know at SOME level that raw human meat doesn't crunch and give people with wheat allergies the heebie-jeebies. :roll:
July 8th, 2008, 12:31 pm
User avatar
SouthernFriedInfidel
 
Location: 5th circle of hell -- actually not very crowded at the moment.
:lol: To imagine... all the things they could be doing with all that time they wasted on a cracker!!

I remember getting into this with my Catholic friend.. She tried to explain the whole thing and I'm afraid I offended her with my dry response... "And you.. really believe this?" Heck, it's all I could muster after stopping my smirky giggle halfway through her diatribe.
"You can't put the civil rights of a minority up for a majority vote."
July 8th, 2008, 12:48 pm
User avatar
Sanjuro
Expert...on everything...
 
Okay, when I read the title, I thought this was about a statue... then I read the article...

You're bloody crackin kidding me???!!!????

A communion biscuit?

Oh I can see where this is going... it means we can literally "kidnap" Christ.

Holy crap.
This is our chance to change things, this is our destiny.
July 8th, 2008, 1:18 pm
User avatar
Liv
I show you something fantastic and you find fault.
 
Location: Greensboro, NC
Liv wrote:Holy crap.

That is literally what A Person was pointing out earlier... :roll:
July 8th, 2008, 1:30 pm
User avatar
SouthernFriedInfidel
 
Location: 5th circle of hell -- actually not very crowded at the moment.
Seriously... I loved communion...

Service was so much better with a little alcohol as a child.... whoever came up with the grape juice when we became Methodist should have been shot.
July 8th, 2008, 1:33 pm
User avatar
Liv
I show you something fantastic and you find fault.
 
Location: Greensboro, NC
A Person wrote:I wonder if the student obtained and returned an unblessed wafer, would the Church be able to identify any differences between it and the Eucharist?


Sticking a blessed wafer on Winona Ryder's head in Dracula burned her. Sounds like an official way to test its blessedness. So who are we gonna stick it to??? :twisted:
When it is not in our power to follow what is true, we ought to follow what is most probable. –Rene Descartes

I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be. -Douglas Adams
July 8th, 2008, 1:56 pm
User avatar
Serendipitous
This is my world and I am the world leader...pretend.
 
Location: in the now
Serendipitous wrote:
A Person wrote:I wonder if the student obtained and returned an unblessed wafer, would the Church be able to identify any differences between it and the Eucharist?


Sticking a blessed wafer on Winona Ryder's head in Dracula burned her. Sounds like an official way to test its blessedness. So who are we gonna stick it to??? :twisted:


I hereby volunteer to 'stick it' to Winona Ryder. :twisted:
July 8th, 2008, 1:59 pm
User avatar
Sanjuro
Expert...on everything...
 
bet you do.
July 8th, 2008, 2:31 pm
User avatar
Liv
I show you something fantastic and you find fault.
 
Location: Greensboro, NC
Hey, check it out!!

FireShot capture #7.jpg
July 8th, 2008, 2:37 pm
User avatar
Sanjuro
Expert...on everything...
 
I just finished talking to a Catholic friend of mine. He read this story and shook his head. He said, "Why doesn't the church just let him keep the thing?"

Apparently, not all Catholics are insane regarding this sort of thing. :mrgreen:
July 8th, 2008, 3:09 pm
User avatar
SouthernFriedInfidel
 
Location: 5th circle of hell -- actually not very crowded at the moment.
SouthernFriedInfidel wrote:I just finished talking to a Catholic friend of mine. He read this story and shook his head. He said, "Why doesn't the church just let him keep the thing?"

Apparently, not all Catholics are insane regarding this sort of thing. :mrgreen:


Poor guy, out on an island... At the risk of sounding like BHL (sorry, dude) then that guy's not a true Catholic (that would be by insane Catholic definition, i.e. the crap my mother taught me).
July 8th, 2008, 3:16 pm
User avatar
Serendipitous
This is my world and I am the world leader...pretend.
 
Location: in the now
Must stay even ... with ... SFI

It always amazes me how little credit Christians grant their God. A priest has to order Chist to go into the little wafer and Christ apparently can't leave it and so has to wait to be rescued by the Calvary* when it's stolen by an infidel.

A real God would have got the student to eat the wafer and then burst from his chest, Alien fashion
Alienjesus.jpg



*Pun fully intended
July 8th, 2008, 3:32 pm
User avatar
A Person
 
Location: Slightly west of the Great White North
It's like a horse-race.
July 8th, 2008, 3:53 pm
User avatar
Liv
I show you something fantastic and you find fault.
 
Location: Greensboro, NC
Liv wrote:It's like a horse-race.

Hold on... how many posts do I need tonight......?

8)
July 8th, 2008, 4:03 pm
User avatar
SouthernFriedInfidel
 
Location: 5th circle of hell -- actually not very crowded at the moment.
A Person wrote:Must stay even ... with ... SFI

Face it, dude. Quantity is one of the few qualities I have in spades. :?
July 8th, 2008, 4:20 pm
User avatar
SouthernFriedInfidel
 
Location: 5th circle of hell -- actually not very crowded at the moment.
Jeez
July 8th, 2008, 4:32 pm
User avatar
A Person
 
Location: Slightly west of the Great White North
Why
July 8th, 2008, 4:32 pm
User avatar
A Person
 
Location: Slightly west of the Great White North
bother
July 8th, 2008, 4:32 pm
User avatar
A Person
 
Location: Slightly west of the Great White North
Free post... I'll catch you all yet!!
July 8th, 2008, 4:33 pm
User avatar
Sanjuro
Expert...on everything...
 
This is when Liv starts playing mind games on everyone by changing it in the database.... wait no, I'd probably crash it then... My luck.
July 8th, 2008, 8:05 pm
User avatar
Liv
I show you something fantastic and you find fault.
 
Location: Greensboro, NC
So it appears the "cracker-napping" has ended. The student returned the stolen wafer... after receiving threats and damnations by e-mail.

Seriously... we worry about Muslim nut cases going off about posters with puppies on them, and right here in America, we have Catholics willing to threaten someone with break-ins and hell over a frickin' CRACKER?!

Anyone know how to get to the SANE side of the looking glass? :twisted:
July 9th, 2008, 3:08 am
User avatar
SouthernFriedInfidel
 
Location: 5th circle of hell -- actually not very crowded at the moment.
armed UCF police officers stood guard during Sunday Mass to protect what Catholics call "The Body of Christ."


That should be WTFNews. How long before one gets offered on eBay? I'm reminded of the video where the 'body of Christ' takes a dive down a bride's generous decolletage, closely followed by the Priest's fingers. I'll have to see if I can find it again.
July 9th, 2008, 9:49 am
User avatar
A Person
 
Location: Slightly west of the Great White North

Return to Religion